What else should you use it for other than fast food and muffins? Without a proper oven, I eat like a seagull jumping out of a box
We have builders, and now there is no kitchen, only a microwave, a kettle and our terminal toaster, limping with 0.5 functional slots to make ends meet. You might think this is perfect for the woman who claims she will never cook again once her kids leave home. Ideally, I’d be in my final form right now, eating olives and dry martinis like a Dorothy Parker tribute band, but I’m afraid it’s too soon: we all have to work until we’re 100, and now the government has wasted our pensions. I’m not sure if I have one, if you can’t find your pension it’s best to assume you’ll never retire.
So microwaves are exactly what you need. Coincidentally, as the most energy efficient appliance, it is in a moment of cost-of-living crisis (according to one expert, it costs 6p to bake two baked potatoes, compared to 24p in an electric oven). But what’s in it? I’m no stranger to prepared food, but piles of questionable recyclable plastic containers and perforated films are just too tiring in the long run. I know they are great for melting chocolate and Nigella heats milk in the microwave, but this is at best a cake accessory, not food. I’ve been browsing health food blogs looking for something that doesn’t have a countertop. Canned beans and sweet potatoes (on my black list of vegetables) are pretty special – worth it, but not appealing.
After exhausting all the invitations I could hint and coax from friends and family, we became ferocious, bickering over who got the microwave first and then staring at it to fry our brains to see what we could do in four How many Doritos to eat in minutes. We quickly fall into a pit of personalized culinary depravity: concocting shocking food combinations like seagulls diving into trash cans and then putting them on real trash can lids. I dipped everything in chili oil and crispy chopped onions; my husband risked becoming a French citizen by eating canned corn, vinegar and blue cheese. I’m not sure there is a way to return to civilization. Maybe there is? Send me your best no-cook recipes and save us from this no-kitchen nightmare.
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Post time: Oct-24-2022